...why?
this is one word i always wana ask u..
that time. u say next day go out. i said ok.
den when the next day comes. u said no mood / tired blah blah.
nvm i let it go TIME AND TIME AGAIN.
yesterday u were suppose to come.
but u din. u said today u will definately come.
and look. whos here?
only kala. ONLY KALA.
why make me happy by telling me the next day u'll company me
when u dun even hav the intention to do so?
if u really needed to study for exam
den why did u tell me that today u would come in the 1st place.
it aint ur fault. cos i cant ask for much.
IM ONLY A FUKING FREN THATS FUKING ALL.
im not angry. im jus sad and disappointed.
always lidat. plus u dun read my blog anymore
so i can pour everything out here openly.
i really tink u r beginning to dislike me.
if so. pls tell me. I REALLY DUN WANA HOLD ONTO THIS FOR NTH.
sometimes i really wana give up so badly.
but u jus do some stuff that make me feel even more happy.
my fren is rite. im blinded by love. blinded by u.
so blinded that i do stuff which i dun normally do.
standing half an hr at ur block jus waiting for u to appear.
it aint fun. it aint nice. wif so many ppl looking at me
tinking "omg this gal in skool u stand there like retard. wtf she doing?"
BABY IM GOING CRAZY SERIOUSLY.
haiya i dun force. i cant force. cos i dun own u.
loving u is so painful sometimes.
i jus wish i would die. and i hate crying. YES I HATE IT.
why i wanted u to come today was bcos i wanted to hug u badly
u noe how painful is it when i see u and i cant do it?
wana hug u and nv let go. but do u even feel the same way?
I FUKING LOVE U. BUT DO U EVEN LOVE ME?
NO U DONT. U LOVE PARIS. OH YES U DO.
im nothing in ur eyes. and will always be nothing.
rite now. im only hurt. THATS ALL. no big deal
cos to u. only paris matters. kala is nth compared to paris.
cos shes ur god rite?
i quit toking. i quit typing. and i might quit blogging.
cos recently each time i blog i would cry.
and i would blog abt u.
and its usually not stuff which are v delightful.
wad do i wana do now
simple. jus one thing
after exam - the 1st thing im going to do is go out janice.
i need a break from everything.
janice would help.
jan sometimes i really thk u for being in my life.
harfia. i wana eat a meal wif u. fish.. remember? we were suppose to eat fish together.
and jenkko. i promised u a movie.
and hk - i promised u an outing.
and maybe xing. cos he got "tortured" by me at times when im sad.
other than that.
kala doesnt wana do any shit no more
not for that man. not for her frens. not for her family members. not for anyone.
kala is selfish now.
kala places herself FIRST now. everybody is last. kala FIRST.
i jus wana feel the warmth i used to get from u
am i asking for too much?
if so. let me noe. i would dmg my brain from tinking this way.
IM REALLY INSANE NOW. THK U.




-brain dmg.