2 nites ago. i tot things would get better like how it used to be after i confronted my fren and thrashed things out. but today. lol. we din even tok at all. not a word of hi, yes, no.. nothing at all. after skool i called him thru hes fren's fone. i wanted to tok to him nicely. but the tone he gave me was like angry.. pissed.. as if he was tokin to someone he dislike alot.. he was like "hello? who are u? wad u wan?" ..den i din dare to say anything. i felt so embarrassed that i told him "err nvm la. u hav fun wif wad u're doing. erm ya. bb" yeah fuking embarrassing after i hang up. i slapped myself when i hang up. den i walk thru this short cut from the labs to the canteen. and i saw him at the canteen wif hes usual group of frens 1st table away from the "short cut entrance" i was like "omg. where shld i hide my face?!" i jus simply walked as fast as i could. made one big round to reach to the other side of the canteen. coz yu yeng left her bag ther. so i had to go there and wait for her.
maybe yu yeng is rite. how can i pretend to act happie when im not? i tried to have all the fun i could in class today. luffing and stuff. but deep down when i joke wif ppl. im jus luffing for the sake of luffing. and im not really happie. it was all an act. AS USUAL. i hate myself for being such a phoney but i dun wan to. i need to move on my life wif or wifout my that fren. because to me. now telling him wad i feel is kinda no pt. coz nth changed. oh yeah things changed. of coz it did.. look at wad happened today. it got worst. -.-.-.-.- im sad that he and me. we're drifting apart but how many times in a month mus i tell him that im unhappie. im jus hes fren and nothing more. but why am i expecting so much from him? if i'm him. i would tink "krystal is crazy.." but i wana spend time wif this fren of mine like how we used to. we could tok on the fone last time for hrs wif funnie conversations. but now? whether its on fone. real life. or online. its all the same tone now.the buay song tone.
sometimes blog can kill ppl too. maybe after reading this. he'll most prob this im too sensitive and that might end our frenship. i care nth no more. fuk everything. i wana get out of here.
